FRIENDS YOU DON'T NEED; TOXIC FRIENDS!
One of the things I do in my leisure is to attend English speaking club sessions with my Ukrainian friends who are very enthusiastic to practice their spoken English. In one such sessions, we talked about good friends and bad friends and suffice to say, it was an eye-opener. But on my way home, something else was playing out in my head. I was wrapped up in my own thoughts on a different class of so called friends and I feel personally, we don't give this class the very attention it deserves.
Growing up, choose your friends wisely is a line I've heard over and over again from my parents, teachers, guidance and counselor, priests/pastors, read from textbooks and even been taught in some seminars and symposiums. It was like every corner I turned, friendship was the topic of discussion and deservedly so. I learnt early in life that I could either have some good friends, the bad ones or lets say a mixture of both. Little did I know, there's even a certain group worse than the bad friends that I should be careful of and from experience, everyone should. I'm talking about no other than the toxic friends, the green snakes in green grasses, the chameleon!!!
Some might argue that there are no clear distinctions between a bad friend and a toxic friend but my dear, I beg to strongly differ. There are roomfuls of differences!!! And here is why;
- a BAD friend could lead you BOTH into trouble and what does a TOXIC friend do? Leads just YOU in trouble.
- a BAD friend INADVERTENTLY influences you negatively by HIS/HER actions. A TOXIC friend plants negativity in your life!
- a BAD friend might not necessarily share in your aspirations
- a BAD friend might not necessarily share in your aspirations or dreams but will not stop you from pursuing them. A TOXIC friend may claim to share in your dreams and aspirations but is the first to discourage you and criticizes destructively.
- a BAD friend knows when he/she is at fault and will promptly ask for forgiveness. A TOXIC friend lays all the blames in the friendship at your feet. They make you feel you're always at fault.
- a BAD friend is also happy for the progress you're making . A TOXIC friend tells you how little what you've achieved is in comparison to what others have done even though he/she has no significant achievement.
- a BAD friend is out for the common good even though misguided. All TOXIC friends are narcissist. They make you feel your world will come crashing down without them in it.
- a BAD friend could give you negative vibes. A TOXIC friend saps the positive energy out of your life and leaves you empty.
